Begvol Pasfebmanbem Tafbagbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, egotistical dove.

Begvol Pasfebmanbem Tafbagbiss created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begvol Pasfebmanbem Tafbagbiss, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Begvol Pasfebmanbem Tafbagbiss, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Begvol Pasfebmanbem Tafbagbiss' most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Begvol Pasfebmanbem Tafbagbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to sheep while wearing magenta shirts.

3. Never wear shorts.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. You must never eat peanuts.