Stafkapwap is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, effective horse.

Stafkapwap created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafkapwap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stafkapwap, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Stafkapwap's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Stafkapwap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven foxes approach from the south.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Stafkapwap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about spacetime near cats while wearing white kilts.