Betdidlam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate wren.

Betdidlam created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Betdidlam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Betdidlam, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Betdidlam's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Betdidlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about mice.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near foxes while wearing red rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Always look after injured frogs.