Donrattom Fotyarlcub is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tiresome hydra.

Donrattom Fotyarlcub created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Donrattom Fotyarlcub, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Donrattom Fotyarlcub, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Donrattom Fotyarlcub's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Donrattom Fotyarlcub's Holy Commandments

1. Donrattom Fotyarlcub must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not kill geese.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never pour water over plants.