Nel Teenhudmigbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, capable jellyfish.

Nel Teenhudmigbonk created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Nel Teenhudmigbonk, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nel Teenhudmigbonk, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nel Teenhudmigbonk's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nel Teenhudmigbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not shave your back.