Jadbetortwodcud is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unjust crab.

Jadbetortwodcud created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jadbetortwodcud, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jadbetortwodcud, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jadbetortwodcud's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Jadbetortwodcud's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five doves approach from the west.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Jadbetortwodcud on top of all buildings.

5. Never go into orange rooms.