Cankadvab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, deceitful lobster.

Cankadvab created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cankadvab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cankadvab, it will turn you into a rat.

Cankadvab's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cankadvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near ducks while wearing red scarves and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Hide if six manatees approach from the north.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.