Bemhoggon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-confident warg.

Bemhoggon created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemhoggon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bemhoggon, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bemhoggon's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bemhoggon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about dark matter.