Quagstipcenstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish armadillo.

Quagstipcenstaf created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagstipcenstaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quagstipcenstaf, she will curse you with boils.

Quagstipcenstaf's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Quagstipcenstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

3. Never mention foxes.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never skip in the presence of tapirs.