Batyartquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, effective salamander.

Batyartquaf created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Batyartquaf, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Batyartquaf, he will turn you into a slug.

Batyartquaf's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Batyartquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Never eat bark.