Yarpbotcub Larpnarflatbest is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, all-knowing wombat.

Yarpbotcub Larpnarflatbest created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbotcub Larpnarflatbest, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarpbotcub Larpnarflatbest, she will make you grow a tail.

Yarpbotcub Larpnarflatbest's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yarpbotcub Larpnarflatbest's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Yarpbotcub Larpnarflatbest in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about dark energy near geese while wearing gray jumpers and balancing five nickel spheres on your arms.

5. Never talk about moons.