Fetbancenzod is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, irritating human.

Fetbancenzod created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbancenzod, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fetbancenzod, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Fetbancenzod's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fetbancenzod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five hamsters approach from the south.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fetbancenzod.