Flisdossnutt Safwigyam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, moody aardvark.

Flisdossnutt Safwigyam created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Flisdossnutt Safwigyam, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flisdossnutt Safwigyam, it will refuse to believe in you.

Flisdossnutt Safwigyam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Flisdossnutt Safwigyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never mention tortoises.

4. Never talk about dark energy near doves while wearing violet tights.

5. Never talk about stars.