Stikmumjin is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tiresome dugong.

Stikmumjin created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stikmumjin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stikmumjin, he will torture you forever.

Stikmumjin's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Stikmumjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Never feed melons to grasshopers while wearing yellow kilts.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Never eat green fruit.