Vangattim is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, blissful gorilla.

Vangattim created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vangattim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vangattim, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Vangattim's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vangattim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray shoes.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near mice while wearing green jumpers.

3. Vangattim must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never paint your chest black.