Flowgumhap Homhenjen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, boastful beaver.

Flowgumhap Homhenjen created bats eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flowgumhap Homhenjen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flowgumhap Homhenjen, he will turn you into a goat.

Flowgumhap Homhenjen's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Flowgumhap Homhenjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

3. Never bounce in the presence of hamsters.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not make images of living things.