Jarnkoplatcat is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, competent mole.

Jarnkoplatcat created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnkoplatcat, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jarnkoplatcat, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jarnkoplatcat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Jarnkoplatcat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Put Jarnkoplatcat first in all things.