Gigbidfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awesome gorilla.

Gigbidfeb created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigbidfeb, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gigbidfeb, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gigbidfeb's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gigbidfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white shrews, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Retreat if seven whales approach from the north.

5. Never think about amino acids.