Cisspakparkzan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, charitable duck.

Cisspakparkzan created the Sol system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisspakparkzan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cisspakparkzan, he will be mildly annoyed.

Cisspakparkzan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Cisspakparkzan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six snakes approach from the east.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near mice while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing seven titanium spheres on your head.