Matgarbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate crane.

Matgarbarn created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Matgarbarn, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Matgarbarn, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Matgarbarn's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Matgarbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near horses while wearing white skirts and balancing four copper spheres on your back.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.