Fundutfas is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome giraffe.

Fundutfas created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fundutfas, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fundutfas, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fundutfas' most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fundutfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Fundutfas loves sharks, so they must be respected.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Run away if three capybaras approach from the north.

5. Never write about amino acids.