Gofbonkjamgembissgilbusbif is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, annoying guinea pig.

Gofbonkjamgembissgilbusbif created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbonkjamgembissgilbusbif, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gofbonkjamgembissgilbusbif, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gofbonkjamgembissgilbusbif's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gofbonkjamgembissgilbusbif's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Gofbonkjamgembissgilbusbif in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about squirrels.