Ponmadquag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, charitable alligator.

Ponmadquag created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponmadquag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ponmadquag, she will ignore you.

Ponmadquag's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Ponmadquag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Hide if six doves approach from the west.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near tortoises while wearing yellow coats.