Gumbessmot Dimwatlit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent snake.

Gumbessmot Dimwatlit created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumbessmot Dimwatlit, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gumbessmot Dimwatlit, she will cry a lot.

Gumbessmot Dimwatlit's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gumbessmot Dimwatlit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near gulls while wearing purple boots and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about dark energy near monkeys while wearing red jumpers.