Vonkdod Metmotcid is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humorless dove.

Vonkdod Metmotcid created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdod Metmotcid, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vonkdod Metmotcid, it will torture you forever.

Vonkdod Metmotcid's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Vonkdod Metmotcid's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Vonkdod Metmotcid loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never hurt gulls.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.