Pakduthamtalgatpadtag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, quiet aardvark.

Pakduthamtalgatpadtag created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Pakduthamtalgatpadtag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pakduthamtalgatpadtag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Pakduthamtalgatpadtag's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Pakduthamtalgatpadtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near birds while wearing pink dresses and balancing eight iron spheres on your legs.

2. Never feed wheat to snakes while wearing gray hats.

3. You must never eat corn.

4. Pakduthamtalgatpadtag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Feed all hungry great tits.