Capnillfob is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omniscient tortoise.

Capnillfob created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Capnillfob, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Capnillfob, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Capnillfob's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Capnillfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always obey Capnillfob's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. You must pray to Capnillfob six times a day.