Volmobnurtdut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome squid.

Volmobnurtdut created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volmobnurtdut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Volmobnurtdut, he will come to you in dreams.

Volmobnurtdut's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Volmobnurtdut's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Volmobnurtdut.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Volmobnurtdut.

3. Volmobnurtdut loves mites, so they must be honoured.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.