Bombafhinhomgarmipfartad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish goose.

Bombafhinhomgarmipfartad created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bombafhinhomgarmipfartad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bombafhinhomgarmipfartad, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bombafhinhomgarmipfartad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bombafhinhomgarmipfartad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck red.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bombafhinhomgarmipfartad.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near pigs while wearing black shirts and balancing eight copper spheres on your legs.

5. Never pour water over plants.