Yartcapnak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, fast cobra.

Yartcapnak created the Andromeda Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Yartcapnak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yartcapnak, it will destroy your favourite star.

Yartcapnak's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Yartcapnak's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yartcapnak.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Never chant in the presence of swans.