Nurtkikfob is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, witless tapir.

Nurtkikfob created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtkikfob, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtkikfob, it will turn you into a slug.

Nurtkikfob's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nurtkikfob's Holy Commandments

1. Nurtkikfob must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Run away if seven rats approach from the west.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Do not dye your hair indigo.

5. Always help sick eagles.