Gebteenfut Nab Yimtombisslinhamfutbesttip is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, proud mole.

Gebteenfut Nab Yimtombisslinhamfutbesttip created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebteenfut Nab Yimtombisslinhamfutbesttip, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebteenfut Nab Yimtombisslinhamfutbesttip, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gebteenfut Nab Yimtombisslinhamfutbesttip's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gebteenfut Nab Yimtombisslinhamfutbesttip's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured whales.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Gebteenfut Nab Yimtombisslinhamfutbesttip in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not trade with those who eat apples.