Hanquagsom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet lobster.

Hanquagsom created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hanquagsom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hanquagsom, he will destroy your home solar system.

Hanquagsom's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hanquagsom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three gold sculptures of Hanquagsom on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never eat green fruit.