Tarppomzim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced yak.

Tarppomzim created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarppomzim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tarppomzim, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tarppomzim's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Tarppomzim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

2. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always look after injured gulls.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Tarppomzim must be the most important thing in your life.