Vedlopbus Tarpkoncap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, compassionate lobster.

Vedlopbus Tarpkoncap created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedlopbus Tarpkoncap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vedlopbus Tarpkoncap, she will come to you in dreams.

Vedlopbus Tarpkoncap's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vedlopbus Tarpkoncap's Holy Commandments

1. Vedlopbus Tarpkoncap loves horses, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Do not keep seven doves in a large pit.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help sick eagles.