Lappakzak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, tiresome lion.

Lappakzak created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lappakzak, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Lappakzak, it will cry a lot.

Lappakzak's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lappakzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think ill of sick moths.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Hide from blue great tits for they are unholy.

5. Do not covet oxen.