Disscussnartsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Disscussnartsaw created the Virgo Supercluster nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Disscussnartsaw, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Disscussnartsaw, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Disscussnartsaw's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Disscussnartsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six snakes approach from the north.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Disscussnartsaw in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near geese while wearing mauve coats and balancing four zinc spheres on your hands.

4. Run away from green porpoises, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about black holes.