Tarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, emotional eagle.

Tarp created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tarp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarp, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tarp's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Worship no other gods but Tarp.

4. Do not hurt sharks.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.