Yokgutcib is a god.

He takes the form of a large, all-powerful dryad.

Yokgutcib created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokgutcib, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yokgutcib, he will turn you into a tree.

Yokgutcib's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yokgutcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never mention badgers.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Always help sick dogs.