Rutran is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless toad.

Rutran created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutran, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rutran, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Rutran's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Rutran's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven tin sculptures of Rutran on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. You must pray to Rutran four times a day.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Learn three new languages a year.