Bimsugguprag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, strong monkey.

Bimsugguprag created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimsugguprag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bimsugguprag, he will turn you into a dog.

Bimsugguprag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bimsugguprag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt porpoises.

2. You must pray to Bimsugguprag nine times a day.

3. Never talk about ducks.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near goats while wearing purple rings.

5. Never play with disobedient children.