Flabtamkam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, prudent badger.

Flabtamkam created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Flabtamkam, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flabtamkam, he will turn you into a goat.

Flabtamkam's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flabtamkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always treat great tits with great respect.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Always help otters.