Funsugont is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unfair slug.

Funsugont created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Funsugont, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Funsugont, she will send minions to preach to you.

Funsugont's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Funsugont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.