Sidhatdapmis is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, capable whale.

Sidhatdapmis created a strange quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sidhatdapmis, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sidhatdapmis, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sidhatdapmis' most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Sidhatdapmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed peas to manatees while wearing indigo rings.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near cats while wearing green stockings and balancing six copper spheres on your neck.