Nellarppark is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid cat.

Nellarppark created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellarppark, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nellarppark, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nellarppark's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Nellarppark's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must love Nellarppark.