Beghinbig Futkimbap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, capable rat.

Beghinbig Futkimbap created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beghinbig Futkimbap, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Beghinbig Futkimbap, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Beghinbig Futkimbap's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Beghinbig Futkimbap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not kill bats.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Beghinbig Futkimbap.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Never wear fawn shirts.