Hamappbegartditsismat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, dishonest lobster.

Hamappbegartditsismat created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamappbegartditsismat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hamappbegartditsismat, it will strike you with lightening.

Hamappbegartditsismat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Hamappbegartditsismat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hamappbegartditsismat.