Sogkimzagbell is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, emotional raccoon.

Sogkimzagbell created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogkimzagbell, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sogkimzagbell, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sogkimzagbell's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Sogkimzagbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never wear pink ear rings.