Hogwonfebfad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous seal.

Hogwonfebfad created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hogwonfebfad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hogwonfebfad, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hogwonfebfad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Hogwonfebfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Hogwonfebfad on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.