Tappaktab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, two-faced lion.

Tappaktab created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tappaktab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tappaktab, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tappaktab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tappaktab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tappaktab first in all things.

2. Always obey Tappaktab's priests.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Tappaktab loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.